i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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