haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
