Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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