She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
