Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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