If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize