Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize