would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
