She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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