We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
