windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions