She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
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I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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