she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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