I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.