it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
