My liver just broke up with me...
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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