Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Is it penis luge time yet?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Send help, water and tortillas.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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