Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
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