so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
