I accidentally had phone sex last night
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
