Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Success! We fucked roommates!
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