i just wanna soil my oats bro
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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