what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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