You're my little dorito
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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