that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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