We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
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I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Well I just put wine in my tea
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I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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