What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
