My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
