Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
