You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
He kissed a someone with a penis
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
