Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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