The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
