So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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