Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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