I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
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