when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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