so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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