No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
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Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
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I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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