whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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