the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize