I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
In America we eat man semen.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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