I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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