so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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