chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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