Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
