Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
