Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
