Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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