When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize