Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
