I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
