my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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