He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
