Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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