Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm like, not good at living.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
