He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
