first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
