it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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