she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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