I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
