my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize