This girl is more easily done than said...
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
