I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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