Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .