I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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