there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.