Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
