I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
He has the fingertips of a God
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